Icy Birthday

My husband's best friend from college (we call him "Slash") was coming to Cincinnati for his birthday, and we were having this great big party for him. I was freaking out because all I had gotten him for his birthday was like a six pack of beer and some little trinkets. And Kyle (the hubs) kept telling me not to worry about it because Slash and I aren't besties or anything anyway. But for some reason it was just very important to me, and I only had twenty minutes until he was due to arrive.

So I was like "I'm just going to go down Colerain Avenue and find something else. Maybe I can get him wine or bourbon or something." But when I walked outside, it turned out I had parked my car on some thin ice, and as soon as I walked on it my car sank to the bottom of some pond.

I came back inside (miraculously dry) and said "Well, I can't take my car."

That's all I remember.

Tanning

I went to a salon to get a tanning lotion applied because I thought my legs were looking pale. I sat down next to some random guy who was there for a haircut. I started flipping through a magazine while the salon worker started exfoliating my legs, but as soon as she did she peeled away what little tan my legs already had. So I had pale legs with a streak of extreme paleness.

So I panicked a little and was like "what do I do?!" and the lady said not to worry and that she would fix it by doing the same thing to my entire leg to even it out and then applying the lotion.

While I was waiting for her to get started on fixing my leg, another salon worker came up to the guy next to me and started shaving his head, and he didn't really physically fight it, but he was saying, "I just wanted a trim! Wait! Ah, jeez." And he went from having a full head of hair, to an uneven mohawk, to completely bald.

I think that's when my cat woke me up.